其实，就不爱了。

头四年，是我最开心，甜蜜的时刻。

我们俩做什么事都会跟双方商量，同意了再做。知道做了对方会不快乐，就宁愿不做不去呗。我们俩真的都站在同一条线。

过后，跟朋友出去一趟后，突然“通知”我，你要跟朋友们去美国Work and Travel。心里是不舒服了，因为说好了什么事我们会先商量。不过你说你父母同意了。你只是通知我，不是问我意见。心沉了。不过我知道自己不能自私，只要是没做错事，应该让你出去看看世界。

不过短短3个月后，你在那里有外遇了。更伤心是，死党看见你这样做也不劝你。我在想我也是你们的朋友呀！

也许，你们没把我当做朋友看待吧！

过了这件事，你选择改，我选择原谅。不过已经留下深深的阴影了。我变得不信任你。我知道这需要时间，也需要你的鼓励。我也知道你也变得不耐烦了。

又再过了4年，双方觉得稳定了（可能只是我自作多情），决定结婚了。可是过后你又去泰国玩女人。很累。

让你选。你最后还是选泰国。我还傻到拖了一年，期盼你真的会改。

哪知一天过一天，你也没再来找我。而是3天2天跑去泰国。完全没改到。

难道我们之间真的没什么让你留恋吗？

最后，我放弃了。再等下去是要等几年呢？你这样对我，你觉得我还会对我们的婚姻有信心吗？

还没嫁过去你都不懂得尊重自己的未婚妻，嫁过去了还得了？

现在想起来，嘲笑自己还真大方，未婚夫完全是没把自己当作一回事。1年里不断去找泰国妹。你伤心你生气，你的事。

最重要是他自己快乐。

4年前，我们一起发福了，我肥了，你去找美国女神。

4年后，我瘦了，你去找泰国妹。

其实不是外表的问题，

是因为，不爱了。

曾经。现在

经过一波又一波。我们终于订婚了。

你也升级了。一切是多么顺利。

可是原来事情没那么简单，没那么美好。

我以为之前一切的背叛、错误、你已经醒悟了，会更珍惜我原谅的一切。

可是原来只是我一厢情愿。

所以难怪有人会说，

➡️女人爱不爱你，看在你什么都没有的时候。

➡️男人的忠心，看在他什么都有的时候。

-从你一开始本来有店到突然间没店，跟你一起渡过。我父母，尤其是我母亲，知道你家人都在柔佛，一个人在这里，能帮什么就帮什么。

过后你做工了，开始帮你定期存款。不然你现在哪来的5位数？

-你从不抽烟边抽烟，喝少酒变越喝越劲。试问你不喝酒抽烟，我能得到什么？我劝你我不开心为的是你的健康。

你反倒觉得我烦你。骂我不要控制你的自由。好👌，我也放弃了。让你抽让你喝吧。自己不珍惜自己健康，谁能帮你？

-现在你车子屋子生意有了，你就开始玩别的东西了。竟然注册订婚了还学别人去泰国玩女人。真没想到，那么久的感情，你告诉我，你随时要放都可以放。只为了你那句你还没玩够，为了那个泰国刺激的夜生活。

-你几个月的变化太快，许多人都大跌眼镜。包括每天在你身边的我。从每一晚肯定会来找我谈天拍拖一下，慢慢的说要做面太累不来了。原来你的慢慢你的太累是跑过去泰国了… 我很震惊也很失望。

以前，

跟你在一起的时候，知道你华语不行，尽量什么都用英文翻译给你知道理解。

不过还真的谢谢你，我的英文的确进步了。

知道你有的颜色很难分得清楚，就尽量不提关于颜色的话题。然后找出你看到和看不到的颜色，告诉你方便以后你认色。

做什么决定什么前，一定会先考虑会不会忽略到你，伤到你。

是不是…我太傻…? 太天真…

现在，

▶️准备好的婚纱拍摄，化妆师，摄影公司，婚礼也取消了。

▶️我知道，也分得很清楚。

曾经拥有、珍惜是有的。只是现在没有了。

▶️外面的诱惑太多，只没想到你就是经不起诱惑而放弃了。

我还傻到你说的应酬…以后陪你去。就算多不喜欢，为了讨个安心，我愿意陪你去（既然你说你去那里是没做对不起我的事）

不过你还是不答应了。。。原因，我自己明白吧。

算了吧，那地方又肮脏又危险。我真的宁愿放弃，都不希望以后一家大小会得病的可能。或者家变。不是我偏见，是我身边的人，朋友都是去了发生事情的，不能自拔（像现在的你）多的是家变。=(

我做的一切，对你来说理所当然。毫不珍惜。我也心灰意冷了。既然双方那么痛苦，何不放弃？

虽然以后，如果缘分过了，可能我会一个人。如果平静。我OK…… 

*不敢大声说多么幸福满足，怕世界听见会太嫉妒*

我从不敢太炫耀，不过幸福还是离我而去了…

我会学着坚强。放下。希望这噩梦能快一些离开。

加油吧！

21.11.13

We are engaged. After the storms you brought from US. Finally we are engage. 

I thought we will have peaceful life,

But....... To be continue

F.r.i.e.n.d

When you re putting other people in front of me, you re fate to lose me.

Heart broken

After hurts by hurts, you re just still stay with him cox you re appreciate, but then,

What's d feeling when your partner say : -"Hey! Can't you don't involve in my work? You re so irritating! " (just because he don't want me to disturb he s having dinner with the trainer, he feel shame to text me

-"The girl is married and I admired her. "Is it cox she's married so you only can admire her? ) down lorrr

-"you always act pity!" (bilalah i act pity?)

-"I'm very dissatisfied with this relationship!" (sad lorrr)

-"can u dont control me?! I don't like to be control! (After 6 years just use this as excuse)

When a heart keep get hurt, it will be full of wound and scars and being hide in the deepest part, once the deepest part been touched accidentally with sensitive words, the tears ll rolling down uncontrollably...

When you need help, you will speak very nicely. After using will be threw aside. 

Is this call materialistic or? 

Anyway m disappointed. I hope one day my heart will be no feeling towards this guy anymore. 

Crazy

Sometimes wil also did some crazy as this too. Hahahahaha. I'm a lazy girl who lazy to make up. =D

Dream's work Comes back again. =)

Hey ya! The things that i really really like to do comes back again! I found back the Long Lost Feelings!
Help my sister to design her photos. From a plain white background, into colourful pix! I kinda happy and satisfied!
Although this is not an easy job. It took me around 4-5 hours to finish just for One Pic, till backache cox sticking my butt on the chair too long, but im happy doing it. ^^

Hahah～ Stop it for around 3 years. Now touch it back feel that im still love in doin this arts.
Nothing special, Not very perfect yet, cox im only self-learning, not taking any graphic design courses before.
ITS ABOUT INTEREST! =)
Sometimes i was thinking, i better set up a bridal shop/working for bridal/photos shops.
Hehex, contact me if u need people like me (with STPM and Utar Biochemistry results but without Arts/Graphics cert). xD
Need to edit/design ur pica? Find me if u don't mind im not enough professional. Jk~!
uhuuuu~ muaahahhahaha~
Okay! Stop self-promote. And Goodnight! Anyeongjumuseyo~

公公。

8／3／2012。公公突然过世了。很多人都不能接受。哭的哭，责怪自己的也有，就是因为那突然间。前几天还好好的他，如今躺在棺木里，谁能接受？
本来装坚强的我们，一看白布掀开，泪就跟着掉下来了。
火化后，大家一如往常过日子。到了头七那天，也就是今天。我们都到寺庙回响，祭拜公公。念经之时，大姑哭了。
原来，大家只是装没事。其实不是没事，只是大家都选择把那件事藏在心里的某一部分。
公公，安息吧。。

Valentine <3

It's valentine!
Without you.. By my side.
I'm not greedy. I'm just wanna be ur only one. Sadly, I'm really cant feel it yet...... Maybe, the wound too deep..

If everyday happy together, everyday is valentines.

Got a short time, my confident slowly built.. But Dono till when until I get a nightmare, it's destroy my confident again. Like.. Haven't end. *frustrated + disappointment*

Sick ><&apos;

I'm sick d finally. Cannot tell him coz don want he busy on work still want worry bout me this kind small matter.
I'm just hope he ll appreciate the chance that given.. Times fly..

Nightmares..

The existing of u in halfway of my life,
Makes me suffer, not one or two days, it's already disturbed me for few months! Can imagine how I pass through my life everyday with the horrible nightmares?
I hardly forget it, ppl who don't hv d experience, won't feel how I feel.. So don't simply judge and pls try to understand.

Really weird for some girls. We are women, why must women harm women? You ll have ur bf/husband in future, did u hope that other women exist and to disturb ur life too....??

Everything we did will have the karma and we must responsible for what we hv done.
So, think before do.
Nobody can force us unless we wanted too.
Think for our future, family.
No health, no wealth.
No heart to change, no healthy family.

Wishlist_me

.wish to have a Lovely job.
.stay young.
.a man who only honest and loyal to me n I ll be his only one. Wish my man could do it.
.vacations with him.
.own warm family.
.no more nightmare everynight and replace by sweet dreams.
.found a people who can really understand me.

To be continue =)

Is it...?

I'm wondering, is it treat a person too good too take care of him,
Will make him forget to appreciate me?
Yeah, everything when need my opinion he ll find me to discuss, that's good but he's not really care of me actually.
I'm frankly envy those guys who proud of their gf.. Never afraid other people know bout their gf n relationship, how sweet is it? I'm sure their gf feel being appreciated.
Maybe cox I'm not his ideal gf, that's y I only ll be in mind when I'm needed. When it is not, how many of my opinion lastly also is a waste.
This is not the first time..
I m tired. I care of u coz I'm appreciate and treat u wit my sincere heart.
But I m oso need cares from you.
I stand n stand. Nightmares attacking but if I still appreciate this relationship, I know I must walk over it.
All about me.. I tell once u will forgot.. Maybe in ur eyes only have yourself image.
I'm a girl. I also ll scare one day, in case, u suddenly leave me. People won't understand cause it was their son, not daughter.
Maybe I'm just too over care bout you and in this relationship until make you forget that u hv a role as a bf too.
I need a deep thought.
Im the one who always worry of losing someone, but is it there's someone outside worry of losing me...? (blank)
I m too much in this..

Wen Wen__

ahaaa~ Wen wen know how to sit like a human already,

I'm quite shock she can stand now for at least 15 seconds already.

Wont force her cause scare will hurt her backbone.

Now she already 8 months plus ^_^

Toilet training everything ok,

just a little bit lam nua! she step on her pee on the wee wee pad!

Aghh~ kek si~ but its ok lah at least pee poo at correct place,

healthy and obedience ok jo~ =D

UuuhHh~ it's 2011 !

Gosh it's 2011 and i had left my blog for few months.. =D

Everyone are changing,

The life is changing,

The weather is changing,

The prices is changing,

My age is changing too~~!

Arghhh... i'm getting older~! =O

He,

already went to U.S,

to find his part time job,

to find his future,

to makes his new friends,

to gain his experience.

I,

still here suffering with my studies,

still can't see my future,

still sitting in front of laptop with my favourite TVB's + my baby Wen,

still unable to gain any expected experience...

Feel want to find a job.. rather than wasting time

and money here.. uwaaa...~ =(

I'm Not Happy right now.. Sob..

What a life.....?

Wen Wen is enjoying with her toy although lonely without her bro, Momo.

2nd Baby, Wen~

We got our second baby____ Wen Wen.
She's so cute~ wahahaha~
Her actions always make us laugh and laugh.
Now Momo very kuai dy. At first we still worry whether he can accept another puppy exist in his life or not.
Now he's happy with Wen Wen. Wen also likes him a lot. Keep playing together = wrestling.
We love them very much!

Tada~
Momo : i;m happy with my sister / maybe will be my future wife =)
Wen : i like bully my koko.. hiak hiak hiak~

Human.,

Human,
Always will not appreaciate the things beside them,
but will appreaciate the things that keep using them.

Human,
Always will just regret when the things that always beside them had lost,
but its too late.

Human,
Always be greedy to get the things that they not really need,
but after get it they don't know how to appreaciate it.

Human,
Always thought themselves are the most superb and do not want to listen advices,
at last they fell themselves.

Human,
Always like to make somethings to lie themselves,
although the things maybe not suit them,
but they still pretent to ignore.

Human,
Always will take care themselves first when in trouble,
but when happy hour, everybody will attend no matter how busy.

Human,
Always will know how to fully utilise other people,
but did'nt think how to share the problems with their friends.

Human,
Always Money is Friends,
No Money stand aside.

Human,
Always will satisfied themselves even by insane ways,
but did'nt think is there any benefit or lost.

Human,
Always will do anything to reach their destination,
but in the same time they had hurt lots of people.

This is HUMAN.

Gatherin in KL..

KB Gangs in Kampar

COD FISH =)

Cheese CRAB! I'm lovin it!

GANGS~

Halloween Party at MOS

So syok!!!!
We gather again in KL..
Location?? => Piang's House, Hock's House, MOS...
lolx....it was an enjoyable day with my dearest friends.
Sad case was i had UEEKK~(Vomit) the 2nd time already at MOS!
LOL! 1St time at Santuary. Tok Jadi nih! I wont vomit geh leh so far..
After Santuary, i started to vomit after just drank 2 cups of Chivas+Cola.
Geram~! Dance also a while only cause of the dizziness and uncomfortable.
Luckily Pig Fong accompanied me all the way. Thanks Mr Pig Fong =)
Felt sorry that he need to accompany me and hardly to enjoy himself at the Halloween Night.
Next time will control from drink so fast and so many alcohol dy.
Scare scare ..wahahaha~~!!
And Thank you Hock for lending me his sport shoes for me to wear
because my leg was so pain with the high heels. Still help me hold my high heels.
TQ TQ..
Next day, We continue our plan by meeting Mr. Steven Chai , Zigen and Mike.
Jogoya... We're coming for second time again! Yoohoo~ Free Chopsticks were given,
But Ladies First! I and Ke got the chopsticks~ Bluekk!
And then this was the PEak!=> We goin to Red Box lagi lepas eat.
It was 9.30pm already! YEY!!!! Most Happie can use my Froggies Voice on Mic again~
I, Fong, Ke, Zigen and KC sing till si pe high luuu~
One Word-----> NICE!

For me, Life will always go on.
Just appreaciate your life by enjoying it and not just hiding ourselves from this world.

Getting Closer~

We are Getting closer and closer~
I'm glad to see the changes on you although sometimes it ll be repeated again
Nobody is perfect but if we love someone,
We will try our best to change ourselves.
I do really believe these and
also trying my best to do it ^__^
Hope the switch is still On in our relationship road.
Kambate =)

Wishes...

With the passing of time,
i found that ur attitude become worst..
such as the way u talking to ur mommy.. that is a respect and a Must for me.
Shes just nobody to talk to. impossible she want to call other ppl child to talk??
yea, we nit to save money, but when u think want to enjoy urself, u think of it.
when i want to watch d movies i like, and mayb u r not so interested with it, u feel that im wasting money. but when u doing it, do u think bout it?
i respect u, so when u wan to watch or do anythin u like,
i tak tergamak to say 'no', the purpose just to see u happy. but u.........?
i respect u, so everythin i do, i ll ask ur opinion 1st and think bout u 1st. but u......?
Well... now mayb we over budget, then u start not happy.
ur heart blaming me i can feel that, and from the way u talk, i knew it.
but when u enjoy with it, eating... gaming... do u think bout we ll over budget?
when u moody, u start to release it on me n our pupp.
I really scare i cannot stand it for too long and manage to stop it here..
As i know so far, i did'nt ask anything from u. I ll get it myself if i can.
I did'nt hope for a rich guy to be with me.
And, we just ll did a thing or event after both of us agree. I did'nt force u.

Really wish u can change.. and maybe, thats just ll be a wish from me..